Updated: Oct 11, 2019
It was a relief to know, the preliminary examination conducted by the Social Welfare Department revealed no physical or psychological harm on Qadejah following the incident.
While it is understandable that every parent has their own preference and ways in educating their children, MSCP would like to take this opportunity to educate members of the public on positive parenting.
In psychology, punishment is one of the techniques use in behaviour modification, specifically a method to decrease the chances of an undesired behaviour to occur again in the future.
Though corporal punishment (punitive act that inflicts physical pain) is one of the ways to modify a behaviour, research has shown that it can pose serious risks to children; an affront to the child’s dignity, increase the probability of deviant and antisocial behaviour, inflict anxiety, depression, withdrawal, low self-esteem, and impaired parent-child relationship.
Around the world, 30 countries have banned physical punishment of children in all settings, including at home.
Given the negative effects of corporal punishment, we should be careful of the kinds of conversations that we have about it. To share about it on social media may inadvertently glamourise the act, which may promote it’s usage.
Further to that, a child who is already hurting physically and emotionally, would also have to face having the event broadcast to the world, further enhancing the public embarrassment that she faces”
To publicly shame a child (Instagram in this case) may inflict more negative consequences which caused by public embarrassment without respecting the child dignity. This could shatter her self-esteem and retard her normal psychosocial development.
Therefore, parents are urged to support alternative disciplinary methods such as positive and negative reinforcement, time out, ignoring bad behaviours and tension decontamination through humor to correct the negative behaviour.
The following tips may be useful as a guideline to discipline your child in a more positive way:
Parents should be a team, and never disagree about discipline in front of the children.
Never give an order, request, or command without being able to enforce it at the time.
Parents should agree on what behavior is desirable and not desirable.
Parents should agree on how to respond to undesirable behavior and enforce it consistently.
Make it as clear as possible what the child is to expect if he or she performs the undesirable behavior.
Look for gradual changes in behavior. Don’t expect too much. Praise behavior that is coming closer to the desired goal.
Remember that your behavior serves as a model for your children’s behavior.
If one of you is disciplining a child and the other enters the room, that other person should not step in on the argument in progress.
Reward desirable behavior as much as possible by verbal praise, touch or something tangible such as a toy, food or money.
Parenting is hard work!
But we can try and work against our children to get to desired behaviours, or work with them as a team. Here’s to fostering better familial relationships everywhere!
MSCP Signing off.
American Psychological Association. The case against spanking. https://www.apa.org/monitor/2012/04/spanking